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The Courage to Say Yes

6/26/2014

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In a culture full of reasons to say "no,'' it takes a lot of courage  to find ways to say "yes.''

We're taught to say ``no'' from a very young age, after all. For most of us, our first word was "no'', and it quickly became our favorite word.  As toddlers and teenagers, we used to say "no'' to differentiate ourselves from our parents, peers, and surroundings. It's how we began to control what was happening around us, or at least, how we tried to control that. It helped us over those early developmental hurdles, and gave us our earliest sense of our personal boundaries -- and that's a lot of significance bound up in such a tiny word!

The problem isn't that "no'' in and of itself is somehow bad; indeed, giving yourself permission to say "no" as an adult can keep you out of an awful lot of trouble.

The problem is that "No'' begins to take on a life of its own. Too often, that life is yours.

Life is change, and "no'' becomes a way of slowing down that change, or trying to stop it altogether. It is a shield we use to protect ourselves from having to experience anything new or different. Rather than riding the wave of change into a life full of exhilarating possibilities, we use "no'' as a tether to keep us safely confined to the kiddie pool. 


Using "no'' to protect ourselves from change is like a kitten poking its head under covers, assuming it's completely hidden.  Change is going to happen, whether you say "no" to it or not. And, just like that kitten, assuming that "no" protects you from change is one sure way to have it pounce on you and bite your tail. 

Let's be honest here: We usually say "no'' out of fear, and some fears are entirely reasonable. It's sensible to say "no'' to jumping off a bridge or "no'' to cake if you are diabetic. These "no's''  aren't the ones that keep us from living lives of incredible satisfaction and happiness.  It's those silly, neurotic fears like fearing rejection, or of looking stupid, or being wrong. It's the fear of commitment, the fear of speaking out, and the fear of facing our truest, deepest desires. The list is nauseatingly long, and we've all bought into some of these at least once.  These fears have shaped our lives, often to our detriment and sometimes to the detriment of those around us. 

So the next time you're faced with something new and exciting and all those little neurotic fears start rioting inside you, what does it take to fight down that  word no and say "yes'' instead.

In a word: Courage.

Like the Cowardly Lion  we need to find our courage. Unlike him, we know that we have to face our fears, and find our courage within. Inside each of us beats a brave, fiercely courageous heart, willing to take on a challenge if it means that life afterward will be more authentic, happier, and freer. What better challenges to tackle than the fears that keep us chained to our tiny, boring, closeted little lives?

Do yourself a favor: Right now, identify and tackle at least one of those inner fears.  Find a reason to say "yes" today, and every day. You've only your inner coward to lose!


Be Blessed Family!

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Burn The Ships

3/9/2014

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It is tempting to retreat to safety and comfort when challenges and difficulties arise. To avoid turning around and abandoning your goals, you must make going forward more compelling then going back.



One of the keys to reaching your goals is to eliminate any escape routes. It is tempting to retreat to safety and comfort when challenges and difficulties arise. To avoid turning around and abandoning your goals, you must make going forward more compelling then going back.


When striving towards a goal, you must focus on what you want to obtain and avoid the impulse to go back to what you know and to what is comfortable. When Spanish Conquistador Hernando Cortez landed in Mexico, one of his first orders to his men was to burn the ships. Cortez was committed to his mission and did not want to allow himself or his men the option of going back to Spain. By removing this option, Cortez and his men were forced to focus on how they could make the mission successful.


Eliminating an escape route creates a compelling reason to focus on the goal and to keep moving forward. However, it is important to keep in mind that although Cortez had his men burn the ships, he did not have them burn the food and supplies. Cutting off an escape route to increase motivation and create the desire to press on where you might otherwise give up is totally different from throwing caution to the wind and taking undue risks. Reaching your goals still requires prudent planning and managing. All goals contain a certain degree of risk, but it isn't necessary to create undue risk and stress by not properly planning and thus lacking the necessary tools and supplies to achieve your goal. Take risks, but don't be careless or foolish and simply hope that everything will be okay.


Before you decide to burn your ships, make sure you have the supplies and tools necessary to achieve the goal. Something like quitting your job might sound like a good way to close the escape route, but it might also be a fast way to bankruptcy if you don't have resources to carry you through. Creating a savings account balance or having a journey job (a job that is a stepping stone to what you really want) allows you to take the risk of leaving your current job without creating undue risk. I once took a six-month leave of absence from a job while I was deciding if I wanted to move to a different state. Although it was difficult making the transition as I was very homesick, once I found a job in my new location, I resigned from the job I had waiting for me because I knew it would be too tempting to go back.


Close off the escape routes and make sure that you have a compelling reason to move forward. However, at the same time, make sure that you plan for the risk and have the tools, supplies and resources you need to achieve your goals. You can't eliminate risk but you can plan for it. Don't just jump in without thinking through the process and having a solid plan for moving forward.

Be Blessed Family!



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Allow Time For Germination

3/2/2014

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New ideas can take time to get used to. When we first hear the idea we may not be ready for it. That is fine. When you are ready the idea will sprout and grow and be there for you.

There is a concept called seed planting. It means that it takes time for new ideas and suggestions to be embraced. There are clients that take hold of a new idea and run with it, some take a little more time to allow the idea to grow while others can take years before the idea sprouts. Still some clients will never grasp the idea. It will simply lay dormant. It doesn't really matter what the client does with the idea. The purpose is to plant the seed and the client can do with it what they will. Sometimes the idea just needs time to germinate.

Sometimes It takes years for that seed to germinate in your brain until one day it just sprouts and grow into a concept you understand. New ideas can take time to get used to. When you first hear the idea you may not be ready for it. That is fine. When you are ready the idea will sprout and grow and be there for you.

The other side of this is not to force your ideas and suggestions onto other people. By all means share them, but leave it at that. Seed planting isn't an aggressive act; it is gentle and done with love and compassion. All you can do is plant the idea. What happens to it is up to the individual and what they are ready to hear at that very moment. The idea may sprout right away or it may take years. That isn't your concern. Your job is to plant the seed and move on.

Everyone is at different places in their lives. Sometimes you will understand the new idea right away and perhaps even take action on it in the moment. At other times it will take a while. Don't beat yourself up when you don't get something right away. It just means the idea is in germination. When you are ready the idea will sprout and grow and be right there to support you. Until then don't worry about it and go on with the ideas you are ready for. There will be plenty of idea seeds sprouting at any given time to keep you busy.


Be Blessed Family!



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Change Means Action

12/5/2012

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"Progress is a nice word. But change is its motivator. And change has its enemies." - Robert Kennedy

Change does have enemies and Robert Kennedy knew that truth and paid for it with his blood. Change can be dangerous. That is why our natural instinct is to stay the course; stay put; avoid trying something new; leaving well enough alone; being safe; and I could mention another twenty or so excuses. If you are the type that wants to stay in your comfort zone, you will never experience the immense joy that comes from living. In order to succeed we must take risks and that means we have to change. Robert Kennedy said this in the context of politics. He referred to making progress as a nation. The only way to make progress as a nation is to change our point of view, to change the way we govern ourselves, to change certain laws that are unfair, and change the way we deal with the each other.

But his words can apply to any aspect of life, not just politics. In life, In order to  experience growth change is the one thing that is needed the most.  Most people,  go way out of their way just to avoid change. One of the keys to succes is change.  Whether you are trying to write a book, or create a new habit change is inevitable. We all need to train ourselves to be more open. But it goes further than that.

Change is an action word and that means we need to act if we are going to progress. Change is not a theoretical practice of the mind, it implies real physical movement. For example, we may say that we have changed our attitude towards someone, but unless that is followed up by an action towards that certain person, they are only shallow words. Change means to repent. Some, are instantly scared  away as soon as you say that because of the belief in religious overtones. Well you can apply this to religion if you like. All I am saying is when someone says to you to repent, it simply means to change what you are doing. Change requires 3 things. The first is to recognize the need to change. The second is you actually do the action that is required. The third is you maintain the new course of action. Those happen to be the same three things involved in repentance. They say that recognizing that you need to change is half the battle and that is so true in my experience. The changing part is actually a lot less difficult to do than the first part which again is recognizing that you need to change. The final part is easy. It just requires that you keep on doing the new action over and over again. The second part in the middle means you must turn around and do something different to prove that what you recognized as needed to be done will be done. Change is empowering no matter how small it is as long as it is positive. Today, why not give change a chance and perform an action that you know needs to be done in your life. You will be gratified and empowered when you do it!



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5 Inspiring Action Verbs That Can Change Your Life

11/28/2012

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TAKE ACTION!


If you're having trouble getting inspired, it may be simply your choice of verbs. Here are 5 action verbs that can help get you inspired and get you out of your rut.


We've all been stuck in that place where things just don't seem to go forward. We have trouble getting motivated and our goals seem either out of reach, or too weak. In short, we are uninspired! Master motivator Tony Robbins tells us that it's not that people are lazy, it's that most people have weak, or as he puts it, impotent goals.

Some self improvement experts will tell you that you have to have a good attitude in order to improve your life. I would agree with that, but it's not always that easy. It's hard to set aggressive goals and get inspired to achieve them when your mindset is not right.

If your mind is not ready to embrace more exciting goals, then change will be at best, difficult. In fact, if you're not ready for it, then it will be hard to conquer even small challenges. If you can't take on small challenges, then it's going to be impossible to change your life to the degree you'd ultimately like.

To that end, I recommend using action to inspire yourself and create change. In effect, we're placing the cart before the horse here, and forcing our attitude to match our actions. If you shake things up by taking action first, you'll get your mind ready to create and pursue more exciting goals.

Below are 5 inspiring action verbs that you can use to shake things up and get yourself mentally ready to take on new challenges. If you use these techniques, even in small ways, you will naturally find yourself on the road to change. Change leads to bigger and better goals. Bigger and better goals lead to accepting greater challenges... and so on, and so on.

1. Give - Give to a charity, an individual in need, or simply a friend or relative. You don't have to give something expensive or big. Just a show of appreciation will do, such as a card or a flower. Why it works... giving is a very uplifting experience since it frees your mind from thinking that there is not enough in the world. Giving teaches you that there is plenty to go around, and it will cause you to attract more good things in your life.

2. Learn - Learn a new language or a new dance. Learn about something you know nothing about, or learn to play a song on the piano or guitar. Why it works... learning something new develops your nervous system and makes you think in ways you've never thought before.

3. Change - Change your routine, take a different route to work, change your usual clothing style, your hair style, or change what you normally eat. Why it works... change begets change. If you want a big change, start by making a small change.

4. Participate - Participate in community activities, a sports team, or join a club. Why it works... participation requires social interaction and creativity, both of which will stimulate and inspire.

5. Create - Create a piece of art, write a short story, make a bookshelf, or start a web site. Why it works... creating stimulates all those dormant forces that allow change to enter your life.

Each time you perform one of these inspiring actions, take several minutes to feel good about it. You want your attitude to catch up to your actions. Also make sure that you enjoy the process, knowing that what you are doing is good for you and those around you as well.

Sometimes, just the exercise of reviewing these action verbs will be inspiration enough to get you thinking of what you could do to change your life. I hope you enjoy using these inspiring action verbs to change your mental state and improve your life. I'm sure that now you can think of some on your own. Remember, though, nothing happens without taking action!



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Aim High

11/13/2012

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Too often we become enmeshed in competition or our ego screams for attention when really all our spirit wants is for us to unleash our brilliant gifts into the world. You can't take it with you so aim high and bring that brilliance forth. What is not given is lost forever!

Change is difficult for many people. Often times our whole identity is wrapped up in what we've learned as children will work for us when dealing with people, allowing us to survive, thrive and fit in. While some people have had to learn to thrive in the midst of change and learned to be adaptable by being open to new ideas and embracing change, many others have had to fight for survival and every table-scrap that came their way. Behavior is learned and it takes work to unlearn and dismantle these old beliefs.

The truth of the matter is that win-win is always possible. When you are able to see beyond the ego and recognize the abundance that is available, people, minds, and ideas come together and can create amazing changes that improve the current scenarios for many, many people. When you work with people who have this abundant and generous attitude, you are uplifted, the team soars, and amazing energy and creativity is unleashed. This is much harder to do, to sustain, and to elevate within others when you encounter individuals driven by the thought of scarcity and competition.

People like Steve Jobs are visionaries that have sought to bring about such shifts in society and in business. One thing I've learned along the way is that it is often better to take the high road. This isn't about judging others as wrong or seeing yourself as better than others. This is about recognizing your truth as to how you wish to BE in the world. Don't compromise your integrity. Don't get caught up in the competition. See the vision, see the outcome, feel the purpose and passion you're driven to offer the world, and give it freely. We all die. You can’t take anything from this life with you. So give what you have to offer the world. What is not given is lost forever.

If your goal is to truly bring about a positive change and serve others, how it is accomplished becomes less important and seeing it accomplished becomes more important. While it may be a blow to your ego when others criticize your inspiration, or someone takes the credit for something you've introduced, holding fast to the benefits for everyone will often soften the sting. You do need to pick and choose those places where you'll offer yourself, the key is to evaluate whether it is serving a common good. When you’re getting compensated for your contributions, gratitude would serve you spirit of peace. If you continually feel abused and stomped on, maybe it is time to move on to a more collaborative team, as well as a more receptive and appreciative audience.

Knowing that you are accomplishing your purpose and living your passion will be reward. In time, it will be recognized. Imposters will eventually be seen and heart & soul will always outlast the mind & ego. Along the way, through the journey that is your life and career, you will need to hold fast to the true inner qualities and nature of the brilliance that is you. Don’t allow these negative experiences to become something that undermines your value. You are not the negative experience. Often times, the negativity we experience from others, is more a reflection of them and less about who you are.

We all have different lenses, different gifts, different wiring, and different experiences. Difference is not something to be judged, it is a gift of diversity that brings the pieces of the puzzle of life together and creates a society, a solution, a technology, etc., together for the benefit of us all. Don’t doubt yourself when others cannot see the vision you see. Keep true, keep your intentions, and you will attract the right support, the right people, and the right opportunities. Lower the ego and aim high the vision.





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