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 Growth And Change Are Essential For Success.

5/30/2013

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Do you want to be even more successful?  Learn to love learning and growth. The more effort you put into improving your skills, the bigger the payoff you will get.  Realize that things will be hard at first, but the rewards will be worth it. 

Many of us have to be reminded that almost everything worthwhile in our lives is hard at first.  Learning to walk was hard at first, but gradually we learned and now it is effortless.  The same holds true for our more advanced skills such as, sports, music, art, etc. We forget these past struggles to learn and take them for granted now.

When most people begin to try something for the first time, it usually doesn’t turn out particularly well.  It doesn’t mean we are bad, or stupid, or anything like that, it just means that most things of any complexity take awhile to learn. 

Given this, the surprising thing is how most people react when they begin to learn a new skill and it does not go well.  Most people at that point feel such things as surprise, anger, frustration, and so on.  We forget that the expression “beginners luck” means that doing something well at first is a fluke. We forget it isn’t supposed to be easy; it is almost against the laws of nature for something to be good at first.  

So what is a more positive way to handle the difficulties we will encounter when we are learning something new?   We should take the attitude that we are supposed to fail at first, that is the way the system works.  We should look for a way to find fascination with the process, and build enjoyment of the ups and downs into the process.  We need to recognize the difficulties we will face and build them into the time and effort we plan on expending on the project. This is one place in your life where a healthy dose of pessimism will pay off.  Just planning for difficulty will take much of the negative emotions we feel in these situations away.  

Lets look at another situation where we encounter difficulty at first.  Almost anything involving change is very hard for us to incorporate into our lives at first.  One of my favorite expressions regarding change is “the only kind of change we like, is the change in our pocket.”  Making the decision to change is easy, it is just a decision.  Staying changed is hard.  We want to fall back to our old ways; we are discouraged, uncomfortable and so on.  One again we are learning something new and it helps to build this into our plan for change.   

In addition to learning to enjoy the process as above, we can add another element to help us through learning something new or the change process. We can keep reviewing the goal we are seeking, the payoff, etc. and continually tell ourselves that the pain is temporary, but the payoff is permanent.  We need to take the pain and frustration and deal with it minute by minute, telling ourselves to hang on, hang on, we can make it.  Life is a series of minutes we can make it through.  

Many people use visualization techniques to help them learn a new skill or deal with change.  They “daydream” or use guided imagery to see themselves going through the process of learning or change and attaining the goal.  A person on a diet can see himself f becoming thinner and thinner, easing the pain and giving them the sense they can do it.  The same with a new skill such as golf.  They see themselves hitting the ball, in just the right way, and they see the golf ball going right where they want it.  A word of caution regarding using visualization to learn a new skill.  The technique is very, very powerful and you will tend to perform exactly like you visualized it, so if you visualize the wrong technique, chances are you will actually perform the wrong technique. So be very sure of the proper technique before you used visualization to help you master it. 

One last point.  I have stressed the need to recognize that new things will be hard to learn at first.   While this “negative” view is helpful, it must be balanced with a positive outlook for the whole project.  Plan and expect problems at first, but also plan and expect that you will eventually master the situation.  Planning for a positive outcome will help give you the willpower to see the situation through and enable things that are needed to move you ahead to appear when they are needed.  Remember if we expect good things, we tend to get good things.

Be Blessed Family!



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7 Steps To Achievable Goals

5/26/2013

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Why is it that most goals are never achieved? For many setting a goal appears to be the end result however goals need to be acted upon every day. These seven steps, if applied conscientiously, will ensure you achieve your goals but it will always be hard work.


How many times have you heard that being successful is all down to setting goals? It may come as no surprise to you to learn there is a lot more to success than just setting your goals. 

Most of us, at some time, have been told that an essential part, if not the major part, of being successful is setting goals. If that were true many more of us would be successful millionaires, actors, parents...etc. In this article I show you why many people fail to achieve their goals and how to be successful whatever you want or need.

1) What is a goal?

A goal is a target achievable in measurable attainable steps. It is more than just a desire or a need and has an existence of its own. A desire or a wish is less tangible and often just fleeting. Who doesn't desire or wish to win the lottery with all its millions in prize money. Very few would not but, despite the widespread desire, it is not a goal. A goal is a desire, wish or need achievable by actions you can take. It is more than a mere wish or desire.

2) How to set a goal?

Setting a goal is a process which starts with an achievable wish, need or desire. First you must decide on the following

What do you want?
Where do you want to be?
Your status, career or qualifications?

A goal can relate to any desire, wish or need achievable by actions you can take.

You then break down the goal into small individual steps or actions. Achievable goals are goals where you can influence their realization and measure your progress towards them. Achieving long term life changing goals is a process of achieving, step by step, short and medium term actions. 

3) What actions are required?

Goals require action on your part. You first need to decide what action is required to achieve the goal. Your first action is always to always write your goals down. Putting pen to paper, and this is one time when a real pen and paper are required, gives your goals an existence of their own. 

Writing a plan is an essential step in achieving your goals - without it you will, over time, amend the long term goal to fit your reality. You will eventually reduce the goal to a wish, and wishes only come true by chance.

4) Analyse the results

You then need to analyse, and work out in detail, how you are going to accomplish each individual goal. This means writing a detailed plan of what tangible actions are required to achieve each individual goal. 

These actions then become smaller shorter term goals leading to major longer term goals.

5) What steps do I need to take today?

Every day ask yourself "What steps do I need to take today?". By now it should be all planned in advance so check your plan and make sure you take each step every day. If you discover additional steps are needed add them to the plan.

6) Review your achievements every week and month

Every week review your progress for the week. Check what you've done and what you may have missed. Adjust your plan for the next week or month. 

Your plan should always take into account what you will do today, tomorrow, this week, next week before the end of the month, in the next 3 months, 6 months...? Always write down your results.

7) What if things go wrong?

If goals were easy to achieve everyone would be successful millionaires. Goals are difficult because they move you outside your comfort zone to do things differently. To be successful you have to face your own fear of failure and take risks. There will be setbacks, expect them, they are part of the process.

If you are not prepared to take action towards your goals then you are wasting your time. True success comes from the daily actions we all take. Using goals ensures that all the actions you take are moving you in the direction you wish to go. Daily or weekly reviews keep you on track and applying these simple tips will ensure you achieve your goals



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Attitude Determines Altitude

5/23/2013

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Your attitude determines your altitude – in business and in life. You can’t change someone else’s attitude for them. But this powerful adage is a great reminder that you can put in front of anyone who needs an attitude adjustment. I want to talk about a few of the many ways each of us can develop a winning attitude every day. It’s what leaders do. 

Marcus Aurelius, the great philosopher who ruled the Roman Empire, said it simply: “Our life is what our thoughts make it”. 

Dale Carnegie, speaking to that quote said: “Yes, if we think happy thoughts, we will be happy. If we think miserable thoughts, we will be miserable. If we think fear thoughts, we will be fearful. If we think sickly thoughts we probably will be ill. If we think failure, we will certainly fail. If we wallow in self-pity, everyone will want to shun us and avoid us”. 

Am I advocating a perfect attitude toward all our problems? No. Life isn’t that simple. But I am advocating – in the strongest terms – that we assume a positive attitude instead of a negative one. 

Mental attitude - the power we hold in our heads. Reality can be changed dramatically by a single thought. In nutrition the adage is you are what you eat. In terms of leadership, it’s more likely you are what you think. Contrary to what people want to believe, outside influences don’t usually determine your happiness or success, rather it is how we react to those influences – good or bad. So how do you change your reactions to those outside forces? 

Make how you react a conscious priority, which means practice daily. 

Humor is vital. When things aren’t going your way, keep everything in perspective and relax. I laugh. Others throw up their hands. Whole industries get very cynical. 

Positive self-confident feelings not only help you achieve more; they also make others want to be associated with you. People are drawn to others who have an upbeat outlook, who have a can-do attitude. Constant complainers don’t collect an easy following. 

One of a leader’s most important jobs is to set a positive and self-confident tone, exuding the attitude that failure is not an option. A positive attitude is the cornerstone of leadership. It’s the same confidence that a quarterback, a golfer, or a tennis star projects every time they come out of the locker room. 

To gain strength from the positive and not be sapped by the negative, here are a few ideas: 

Focus on the 90% of your team who will run with your vision and your plan - don't let the "negative nellies" drain you or poison your team. 

Tap your spiritual essence at work too - use your spirit and your heart to move you and your work forward. 

Break the negative energy cycle – if you see yourself spiraling down or in a rut, mix it up, breakup the routine and do something fast that lifts you up. When you see one of your team members in a rut of unproductive or unprofessional behavior address it, don’t let it fester. 

Active listening – takes time. Work at it, to hear what your team wants. Often just by being heard, problems can go away and people really make a big turnaround. 

You must be the emotional manager of your office - not your assistant, not the new hotshot you just hired. In a family, parents must be the emotional managers or chaos rules the home. In your business, you must wear that mantel, albeit reluctantly at times. It’s part of your leadership role and power. Hone it, as well as your reactions to external events, and you’ll see the culture around you shift to the positive. 

A negative attitude will pull you down and with it your professional results. A positive attitude will pull you over the rough spots and energize you to lift your results to new heights – to match your vision. Whether you need an attitude adjustment a couple of times a day, once a week or only occasionally, never forget that your attitude determines your altitude. Don’t let outside people or events bring yours down.



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Innovation Is A State Of Mind

5/20/2013

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Innovation may seem like it comes from sudden creative insight, but it is more often from habitual patterns of thinking. Ready to develop an innovative mind?

You probably know the myth of innovation as a sudden flash of insight that comes from nowhere. We read about that "aha" moment, or that light bulb turning on in the mind of some inventor or innovator, and this is true to an extent. Einstein really did get flashes of insight while shaving in the morning. However, he was of course working on the particular problems he had insight into, and he didn't suddenly have ideas for new kitchen gadgets or movie plots.

Einsteins innovations, in other words, no matter how "sudden" the original ideas were, came from past and present mental work. It is like a singer who works at his craft for ten years and then becomes an "overnight success." Innovative people only have "sudden" new ideas because they have habitually worked and thought in certain ways for some time. If you want to become an innovative thinker, then, why not start cultivating those mental habits?

Mental Habits Lead To Innovation

Problems can be opportunities. "Problem" may have a negative connotations, such as being a hassle or stressful, but any problem can lead to an innovation that improves our lives. Not knowing the time lead to clocks small enough to put on our wrists. Nasty diseases lead to sanitary sewer systems. Start looking for opportunity in every problem. Even a mundane problem like not having enough storage space could lead to a new innovation. You may just build a plywood floor in the attic, but you could invent a new type of outdoor storage unit.

Innovation begins with understanding the key elements. Metal, wood or glass are not key elements of a door to an innovator. A way to get in, a way to keep others out - these are key elements. Begin with these, and soon you're imagining new ways to make a door. You could design a door that is opened by your voice (nice when your hands are full), or one that shuts and locks itself when anyone else approaches. Think of the key elements in things.

Attitude helps innovation. The creative problem-solving technique of concept-combination involves combining two ideas to see what new idea or product results. The crucial point is that you assume there will be a useful new idea. Starting with that assumption, your mind will work overtime to produce something. A shoe and a CD have nothing to do with each other, but it took just a minute to imagine a CD player with headphones that only plays the music correctly if a jogger maintains his ideal pace. When you assume there is something there you'll often find something.

Playfulness helps innovation. A playful mind is a creative mind, and while high IQ doesn't correlate with creativity, put it together with playfulness, and you have an Einstein. Remember, he imagined himself riding on a beam of light in order to arrive at his theory of relativity. Why not start playing with ideas and things, in your mind and in your surroundings. Innovation should be fun.

Be Blessed Family!



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How Do You Define Success?

5/15/2013

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"Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire."

~Arnold H. Glasow

This really is a great quote. Not only is it interesting but also inspiring.

One of the truths that I find most frustrating as a Mentor and a coach is that many people believe that success, in whatever field of endeavor they are currently striving, is rather like winning the lottery. In fact, it certainly seems from the evidence that they in fact believe that success is even more random because they aren't even buying a ticket. They are simply passively waiting.

If you listen to people talk you won't hear many people voicing this opinion of success but look around you and watch what people are actually doing--or rather not doing--and you will quickly see what I mean.

Many people want things--they want to be rich, they want to be at the top of their profession, they want a successful marriage, they want to raise great kids, they want to be respected in their community, and so on. But what do they do to achieve this success? Are they working both hard and smart toward their financial goals and living frugally while they do so? Are they constantly learning and striving at their job? Are they showing their spouse love, consideration, understanding, and generosity? Are they spending time with their children both modeling how to be a good person and being generous with their love and understanding? Are they regularly proving themselves an asset within their community by being a good neighbor in every sense of the word?

We all know that we must accomplish these tasks as I set them out to achieve success in these areas. Probably I missed something as well. I am hardly a model of success in every area. I would in fact describe myself as fair to middling. {g} I am certainly not rich but the bills get paid and our basics and then some are covered without too much stress. My boss, peers, and subordinates think I am doing a pretty good job as well as those that I serve professionally. While my marriage is in fairly good shape I know I could certainly put more into it. I think I have a great kid but know well my failings as a mother. I contribute to my community but no where near the level that I could or should.

How do you define success?

Is it money, career, love, marriage, family, friendship, respect, community?

For me, success is primarily about love. How many lives do I touch with mine? How many hearts? Who has been changed by my existence in a postive way? Who am I able to help to make thier dreams come to pass. These are the things that are important in life. I hope that as you seek to be successful, that you attain that  which will aid you in your quest. 

If we really want this success then we will set ourselves on fire. We won't wait for spontaneous combustion.

Be Blessed Family!

Image provided by: www.cashartblog.com


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5 Easy Steps To Accomplishing Any Goal

5/13/2013

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In “Think and Grow Rich”. Napoleon Hill wrote “nothing is impossible to the person who backs DESIRE with enduring FAITH.”. Let’s simplify that by saying “nothing is impossible to the person who establishes a definite goal and truly believes that they can attain that goal.”

Once you’ve established your goal, there are two key elements necessary to accomplishing that goal, a definite date and a definite plan. I’ve learned that it’s easier to accomplish things if we break them down into small tasks. You don’t just put the whole steak in your mouth, you cut it up into small bite sized pieces. Not only does it taste better, but it’s also easier for your body to digest. You should break your goals down the same way.

Accomplishing Any Goal is just 5 Easy Steps away:

1. Establish a definite date – Set your goals in reverse. Pick a date of completion and work backward. Ex. Set a goal for the end of the month and then set short term goals for each day through the end of the month. This way you are setting short and long term goals and each day as you accomplish your short term goals you move one step closer to accomplishing your long term goal. Don’t forget to include personal development goals and days off.

2. Keep a calendar – Take the goal you set for the end of the month and write that goal in on the last day of the month. Then write down the short term goals for each day through the end of the month.

3. One at a time – Don’t try to cram everything into one day. If you try to post to your blogs, post to the forums, post classified ads, participate in groups, submit articles and work on your Squidoo lenses, etc. all in one day you’ll burn yourself out. Instead, focus on one or two things every day and then cross it off. Mark an ‘X’ on the calendar on the days you complete the scheduled tasks.

4. Set a time limit – Aim for one to two hours per day. By limiting the time you are spending and focusing on one or two tasks every day, you’ll build momentum and increase your success rate.

5. Stick with it – Stick with your schedule. Switching things up too often can get in the way of your success.

With a written plan, you’ll make accomplishing your goals easier. At the end of the month when you see more ‘X’s than empty squares, you’ll feel more accomplished. By implementing the 5 Easy Steps to Accomplishing Any Goal, you’ll find yourself making progress, building self-confidence and reaching and accomplishing your long term goals.



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Passion: Fire In Your Soul

5/9/2013

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Many people try to hold a raging fire within themselves, but it restlessly and relentlessly gnaws at their core. Some have tried to cover it up with alcohol, numb it with drugs, hide it with shopping, kids, work, or religion, or fuel it with sex. The Baby Boomers looked for eternal youth and to change the world. They thought they would never grow up, but they did. They thought they would change the world and they did. 

The previous generation looked for the American Dream. Some found it. Many did not. The present generation seems to be seeking success. Yet, the gap between the "haves" and the "have nots" widens. Each generation and each individual, in turn, searches for something, but it often slips from their grasp. 

The fire carries both energy and discomfort. The key is to use the discomfort as a motivator and the energy as fuel. 

The fire inside of you can blaze new trials for you. It can create a historical persepctive form where you were to were you want go. You can get it done, but you must have the drive and passion to complete the dream that beckons your call.  So many times in life, we burn our passion for the dreams of others and end up burning out to what seems like hopelessness. Remember, you are worthy to have your dreams come true. All you want starts deep in your soul with an innate passion.

When we are connected to our roots and our souls, passion rises quickly and pushes us the next level of life or learning or love. It does not have to be love of a mate. It could be creative passion, fueling what we do for ourselves, work, community, or family. Anything where the totality of who you are is absorbed in the doing, requires passion. To loose it, is soul death, or at least deep sleep. It will cry to be heard when it sleeps.

I've sometimes been afraid of my passion. It seems so fierce at times. I guess I fear it will consume me and nothing else will matter. I know that can happen. I've had a small taste of it when I work for hours into the night, so absorbed by my work that I forget time, sleeping, and eating. But, I also know that I must have time in my life to live the every day life of doing the mundane things that must be done. Balance is probably still the key, but you must not loose your passion all together. Your life will be too dry and dull without it.

Remember your first love? Nothing else mattered. You felt as if you would walk to the ends of the earth for that love. Remember that? While that first passionate, all consuming love does not last, it gives us a taste of a force within ourselves that carries tremendous energy. Look for your passion and it will find you.


Be Blessed Family!



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You Have Always A Choice

5/6/2013

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People often say they have no choice when faced with a dead end. They say they have no choice but to take the one direction available, which is often a wrong one. 

When they say that remark, they must understand that they have to take the blame for the consequences of what they will do. 

However, truth is far from the often-circulated concept that man has no choice. 

We do have choices. As long as you have rights to protect, you have a choice. When rights are denied, then so are options. When you let your rights be denied, this too is an option.


Many of us are Mental Bound. Most people obey not out of willingness, but because they beleive they have no rights; and thus, they have no choice but to obey. Yet, in another light, it is really their choice that they are bound. Even not having a choice is still a choice.

Some are willing to be bound. They voluntarily throw their rights away because they believe the person to whom they render service to is worthy of treating them as such. 

Some simply accept their lot as being bound, and that is their choice. Some refuse to be bound and choose to assert their rights. All these are choices.

The kind of life you have is the life you choose. You cannot blame anyone for how your life ends up.

For instance, you can choose to live happily or miserably. It all depends on you. If you live a hectic life, that’s because you choose to be busy. No one can force a kind of life upon you, not even a superior who points a gun to your head. Every choice has its consequence.

Thus, if you choose to be healthy, live up to that choice. Be healthy. The choice will have to be followed by a decision to be disciplined. 

Being disciplined means that you must exert effort to attain and maintain a healthy body. Eat right, exercise right, sleep right, and live right. 

Don’t blame anyone else if you get sick. Getting sick is a choice. Some people cannot afford to be healthy because they choose not to afford it. 

They can spend for something else but not for good health. To be able to prioritize good health in your budget, you have to live a simple life. Every choice entails a consequence, so you have to live up to your choices.



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Your Life Is A Do-It-Yourself Project

5/3/2013

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The responsibility of working hard, planning and living a successful and fulfilled life falls largely on you. This simply means that from this point forward, the burden of shaping your adult life, is on your shoulders. The sooner you realize this, the better!

The most important question to ask yourself is, what can I do today, this week, this month, this year, to get my life going in the direction I desire?

If you truly believe that there is more to you than meets the eye, stop making excuses, and start living your best life today!

If you are either on the verge of giving up, or are sick and tired of being mediocre, you can make a decision to start winning, by casting a YES vote in your favor today!

You don’t have to continue being stuck in that rut or being hounded by feelings of under achievement! Believe in yourself, you can make something of your life. Just don’t give up!

5 most important life management questions:

1. What?

What do you want to do with your life? This is probably one of the most important questions that you will ever answer. The answer to this question will lay the foundation for your destiny.

Once you have clearly identified what you want to do with your life, it then becomes the focal point of everything you plan to do. Knowing what you want to do, gives you clarity and a much needed sense of purpose. It also prevents you from engaging in side tracking, time wasting ventures which have no connection to your purpose.

2. Why?

Understanding the importance of why you want to achieve certain things in your life, is the motivation that will drive you to accomplish the goals that you have set for yourself.

Why do you want to achieve these goals you have set for yourself? Why do you want to lose weight? Why do you want to get married? Why do you want to start your own business? Why do you want to boost your self esteem? The answers to these questions must be compelling enough to move you into action.

3. Who?

In order for you to achieve certain things, you need to take on certain qualities. Who do you need to become as you strive to achieve your goal? Do you need to become more confident, committed and action oriented? Do you need to become a risk taker? Do you need to be more assertive? Identify the qualities that you need to adopt in order for you to achieve your goals.

Max Dupree rightly said that we cannot become what we need to be, by remaining what we are.

4. How?

How are you going to manage your life as a project? How are you planning on achieving your objectives? Do you have a step by step plan? Certain tools need to be in place to help you tie together all the pieces of the project you plan to accomplish.

Having a plan is very important because it is the road map to your goal. It will help you know what information you require to make each phase of your life a success. For example, if you want to lose weight, how do you plan to lose it? If plan A fails what is plan B?

5. When?

Every goal you set must have a deadline and any plan you have, must cease from just being a plan, turn into action and produce tangible results. When are you going to be done with at least one specific goal you have set out to accomplish? When are you going to wrap up the project?

Your life is a do-it-yourself project. If you want your plans to materialize, start taking action today!

Be Blesssed Family!

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